My dear son,
I didn’t plan our lives to go with this way! I wanted us to be together and happy. Unfortunately I didn’t know how to work on this plan.
I pay for what I’ve done, but I am still your mum.
Now you hate me. Probably sometime there in the future you will find a little spot in your heart to store a little love for me.
Today I will start writing to you about everything I did .
It is not to excuse my self, my dear boy, it is for you to understand and for me to see it.
This letter is about your future big love.
It is about the world, you will enter with your chosen woman!
I know She will be beautiful and decent, but as your mum I want to be sure that you will be prepared for the whole palette of happiness, sadness, miracles, anger and everything else.
No one is ready for what is coming from the future.
Every relationship is different, unique.
What I am going to tell is what I have experienced in my life.
These are all the lessons I took from my relationship with your dad.
As you know, it was not a happy one, but I am happy I had it.
Because it thought me well. Now I am able to share my knowledge with you.
Keep me in your heart! I loved you and I believe you loved me too.
Know that our relationship is sacred and a very private too. I am in another world now. Here, in your world only you will remember me.
Play our stories in your mind, when you need to speak to me.
Try not to use me as a whip or a flag to punish Her.
‘My mum did/didn’t … my mum…’
Do not push her to accept my taste, habits and dreams. Do not put me into your arguments as a judge of the situation.
She will start hating me, even though I do not exist any more.
Son, I will tell you the same even if I was alive.
You must build your own style, regime and your own nest.
I am in the past. You both are the creators of a new world, new universe, and new family.
What you learned from me is only to help you to adjust your selves in your own system.
I gave to you guidance, you take the path.
Learn that when a help is offer to you, it is not because she patronises you!
It is, because she cares for you!
Accept it with gratitude, or refuse it.
She does not want to tell you that you are incapable! She only wants to share the weight of this task and to make it easier for you.
Learn to help her too!
When she is carrying something big or heavy, do not move away to give her a space to go ahead.
Know that she again tries to help YOU by taking this big and heavy object. Help her by taking one side of it or why not the whole thing, huh?
Be a cavalier.
Do not be afraid to show your love.
She is a gentle flower, even if she looks strong and powerful.
She needs a hug, a kiss, a stroke. Hold her hand, touch her hair, and make a compliment. When in a crowd look for her above everyone else and meet her eyes. She will understand.
Never forget to show love!
It is good for you and for her!
Being closed in your own world will separate you in no time.
Being emotionally cold will depress you both.
Love and you will be loved!
Do not help her to hate you.
You will have problems, but try to solve them together.
Do everything together!
Do not take on your shoulders the whole responsibility and do not put it on her shoulder only either!
Learn from your mistakes! Learn from Hers too!
If you repeatedly do the same mistakes, you repeatedly will receive the same reactions!
In this scenario will be very easy for her to take you as an useless, selfish and underdeveloped individual.
Then her mistakes will be invisible, because yours will be grown into a huge thorn between both of you.
Try to recognise the pain behind someone’s anger, shouting, silence or any other behaviour you do not like or take as ‘too much’
Never forget the girls you were with before to meet The One! All of them made you what you are in a relationship!
Take the goodness of every one of them and do not forget the badness. The badness will teach you how to be happy now. You will be able to recognise it, avoid it or kill it in your new relationship.
Remember that she doesn’t need constantly to listen about your past stories. Concentrate on the creation this new one.
She wants you to secure her by proving that She is The One!
Support you OH.
Even when people attack her rightly, you take her side.
When the others are nasty to her with no reason or just because they like it, cut them off of your life!
She is more important than them!
Do not allow your Ego to take you to the road of laziness.
Remember, she is not granted! No one is granted.
She is a free spirit as you are. Respect that, as you will demand the same from her.
As much as I love you and I think that you are unique, remember that you are not bigger than anyone else in this life.
Open the doors before her and close them after yourself.
Close well the lids of jars, bottles, boxes.
Do not spread your shoes everywhere and do not put your socks on the table.
Learn from her the little house tricks which only women understand.
Do not help her with domestic jobs. They are not only her responsibility! They are yours too! In shared responsibility help doesn’t exists. It is the duty that rules the system. Take your duties seriously!
Do your job and she will do hers.
Build a relationship based on trust.
My dear son, it is not about the trust you are thinking of.
Is she going to sleep with another man or not!
No, no, no!
It is about a trust that creates peace and security.
Keep your promises!
If you cannot do it, tell her. Tell her not as an excuse, but as an explanation. The right communication builds bridges and melts iron bars.
If you are unreliable no one will give you respect and soon even the strongest love will dive into the mud of disappointment and bitterness.
When you are mistaken, do not cover it with clumsy jokes. Take responsibility for your actions. Be a man!
Remember, a recognized sin is half a sin!
Do not berry your mistakes. They will find you later!
Learn about presents.
Even the most expensive present cannot buy you a happy smile, if given in the wrong way.
Give, because you love, not because you have to or she needs something.
Even if you give only a little flower, do it as it is a big celebration. Because it is.
Giving a present is a symbolic gesture of love. It shows that you were thinking of her. It shows that you love her.
This is not the mercantile way of loving. Do not fall into this trap that women love only when receive.
Women like to be liked. Make her special days more special. Surprise her. On the day. Not before or after. Do it when her heart is happy for an extra reason – a BD, an anniversary or anything else.
Be a man!
Do not transform her into your mum.
She is not your mate.
She is not your servant either.
She is your wife and you must treat her as one.
Remember that feelings are nothing else but reactions to something that happened.
Do not blame her for being sad or angry. Think what was the reason for that.
Do not blame her for not taking control over her life, for being emotional or pathetic. She is reacting to your actions or luck of them.
Do not expect her to respect you only, because you are a human being. Respect has to be earned.
Respect also is not an exchange coin. Because – I- am- giving- it- to -you – you- must- give -it -to- me doesn’t work. You take what you deserve!
Loyalty is a rear thing. If she shows it to you, hold it tight! You are a lucky man!
Do compromise. However, always remember that a compromise is only a temporarily solution to a problem. More you compromise, deeper the problem will grow. Moreover, you will lose your personality.
Do not think that I am putting only you into hard work and only you are the one who will build this relationship!
It is not like that.
I am your mum and I am the one who has to teach you about life. At school, you will be concentrated on accumulating all academic knowledge. At home, I will tell you how humanity functions … at least I had to do that.
Unfortunately, I cannot do it with any other way than writing to you, than putting on paper the whole me.
Do not be afraid to be right! And do not feel as a victim that only you were the one who were working on a relationship.
It is always better to work than to lose options and to create unhappiness. Be with clean consciousness that you did everything. Leave the others to feel bad that they made the mistakes.
Being the good man in every situation will bring you mental peace and will teach the others, will show to them another way of living. If they can they will take it, if they cannot, you must hope they will grow to it. If they do not grow, leave them there. The humanity needs channels for the bad energy to go away.
These rules are valid for both of you.
But if you wish to live in a paradise, show to her how you will be and then you can demand from her the same.
If the work on your relationship is done only from one of you … even if this is you … run away!
I love you!
I just finished reading this letter and I realised it is more about me than you.
It is more like a wail of a broken heart than a wise advice.
This letter is a list of most of the things I didn’t take from your father.
This letter is picture of failed dreams and moral filth.
It is a short explanation of why I killed him.
Read it and destroy it!