My dear son,
I didn’t plan our lives to go with this way! I wanted us to be together and happy. Unfortunately I didn’t know how to work on this plan.
I pay for what I’ve done, but I am still your mum.
Now you hate me. Probably sometime there in the future you will find a little spot in your heart to store a little love for me.
Today I will start writing to you about everything I did .
It is not to excuse my self, my dear boy, it is for you to understand and for me to see it.
This letter is about your future big love.
It is about the world, you will enter with your chosen woman!
I know She will be beautiful and decent, but as your mum I want to be sure that you will be prepared for the whole palette of happiness, sadness, miracles, anger and everything else.
No one is ready for what is coming from the future.
Every relationship is different, unique.
What I am going to tell is what I have experienced in my life.
These are all the lessons I took from my relationship with your dad.
As you know, it was not a happy one, but I am happy I had it.
Because it thought me well. Now I am able to share my knowledge with you.
Keep me in your heart! I loved you and I believe you loved me too.
Know that our relationship is sacred and a very private too. I am in another world now. Here, in your world only you will remember me.
Play our stories in your mind, when you need to speak to me.
Try not to use me as a whip or a flag to punish Her.
‘My mum did/didn’t … my mum…’
Do not push her to accept my taste, habits and dreams. Do not put me into your arguments as a judge of the situation.
She will start hating me, even though I do not exist any more.
Son, I will tell you the same even if I was alive.
You must build your own style, regime and your own nest.
I am in the past. You both are the creators of a new world, new universe, and new family.
What you learned from me is only to help you to adjust your selves in your own system.
I gave to you guidance, you take the path.
Learn that when a help is offer to you, it is not because she patronises you!
It is, because she cares for you!
Accept it with gratitude, or refuse it.
She does not want to tell you that you are incapable! She only wants to share the weight of this task and to make it easier for you.
Learn to help her too!
When she is carrying something big or heavy, do not move away to give her a space to go ahead.
Know that she again tries to help YOU by taking this big and heavy object. Help her by taking one side of it or why not the whole thing, huh?
Be a cavalier.
Do not be afraid to show your love.
She is a gentle flower, even if she looks strong and powerful.
She needs a hug, a kiss, a stroke. Hold her hand, touch her hair, and make a compliment. When in a crowd look for her above everyone else and meet her eyes. She will understand.
Never forget to show love!
It is good for you and for her!
Being closed in your own world will separate you in no time.
Being emotionally cold will depress you both.
Love and you will be loved!
Do not help her to hate you.
You will have problems, but try to solve them together.
Do everything together!
Do not take on your shoulders the whole responsibility and do not put it on her shoulder only either!
Learn from your mistakes! Learn from Hers too!
If you repeatedly do the same mistakes, you repeatedly will receive the same reactions!
In this scenario will be very easy for her to take you as an useless, selfish and underdeveloped individual.
Then her mistakes will be invisible, because yours will be grown into a huge thorn between both of you.
Try to recognise the pain behind someone’s anger, shouting, silence or any other behaviour you do not like or take as ‘too much’
Never forget the girls you were with before to meet The One! All of them made you what you are in a relationship!
Take the goodness of every one of them and do not forget the badness. The badness will teach you how to be happy now. You will be able to recognise it, avoid it or kill it in your new relationship.
Remember that she doesn’t need constantly to listen about your past stories. Concentrate on the creation this new one.
She wants you to secure her by proving that She is The One!
Support you OH.
Even when people attack her rightly, you take her side.
When the others are nasty to her with no reason or just because they like it, cut them off of your life!
She is more important than them!